Subscribe to RSS

Aug 20th

personal_and_professional_coaching_1_My coach and friend M.J. Clark has told me on a few different occasions that professionals should start coaching much earlier in their careers.

That makes sense.  Why not start improving yourself and your skills early, right?

The truth is that most professionals start coaching in their mid to late career.  Maybe the leap is spurred by an advancement in position or the start of a small business.  Some people even start coaching because they’ve recently lost a job, or worse yet, their are challenges at home.  (It was both of those last reasons that motivated me to start working with M.J. two years ago).

(disclosure: I am M.J.’s client and have been for a while.  This is not an advertorial for ILS.  This is just my experience to date in hopes that it might spark ideas in you.)

Being Present
One of my favorite things to read is the writings of Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Han.  In late 2007, during one of the periods when shit was hitting the proverbial fan in my life, I started having trouble managing my temper.  Burn out, combined with  an inability to effectively manage the stress of a failing marriage, a new baby and being laid off was taking it’s toll on my mind and body.

During one of the many meetings in the interview process with Young Isaac, my friend and owner of the firm, Artie Isaac shared two pieces of knowledge changed everything.  The first was a copy of Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames, Han’s 2001 book applying Buddhist philosophy to anger management practices.  There’s a quote from the book has stayed with me ever since the moment I read it.

“Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”

Powerful stuff.  Have you ever felt completely out of touch? I was there more than once. I’m betting we’ve all been there at some point in our lives.  Han’s writing was my wake up call.

The second thing Artie gave me was M.J.’s card, and a brief description of what she did at ILS.

Switzerland
I’ve been coaching on and off for the past two years, learning how to manage complicated relationships and complex situations.

I think that, as I grow older and take on more responsibility, it gets easy to get wrapped up in satisfying the needs and expectations of the people around me.  Getting too wrapped up in making everyone happy can leave you as the only unhappy person in the room.  M.J. has become my Switzerland.  She’s a neutral sounding board, tasked with providing guidance so that I make the best decisions for me.  She takes that charge seriously.  It’s her job to do so.

For me, going through the coaching process while I am still fairly young in my career has given me the tools to find and embrace the present moment. It’s not a perfect science and never will be.  I will always struggle to not live in the past or future.  But life keeps moving on…

Do you work with a coach?  How has it changed you as a person or a professional?  Care to share your experience?

Jump To Comments

Do You Like This Article? Share It!

This Article Is Tagged With:

Join The Discussion!

View Comments
  • Nate, solid post. I can speak personally to the benefits of coaching. While at Bank One I had the opportunity to engage with a professional executive coach who helped me to see the over riding flow of numerous issues and to more effectively lead and support my teams in their efforts. It made me a better communicator of goals and successes of my teams and most importantly it helped me to keep things in perspective when encountering challenges. Since that time, I have made it a point to regularly engage with a handful of mentors - each one with a different perspective and each one willing to cheer me on and also hit me in the forehead when I need it. Without this group of mentors, I would not be where I am today.
  • Thanks for this post. A good reminder for me, too. I have read some of Thich Nhat Han's works, as well as the Dalai Lama. They ring true. Being present is not easy work, and anger clouds the thoughts. I will look for the piece on anger. A propos--thanks for the recommendation.
  • Nate -

    This post comes at a good time for me. One, I just recieved an invitation from M.J. for a couple inexpesive sessions she is hosting in the fall. I'm definitely going to attend. Second, I'm finding the older and more successful I get, the harder things become. I'm sure this trend has no interest in stopping here. Thanks for the motivation to look deeper into this. I'm also going to pick up the book you recommended. I'm one temper tantrum away from needing an intervention! :)
  • nateriggs
    Thanks for the comment Billy. Coaching will make a difference, no matter who you go to. It's just a great way yo being to look at a reflection of yourself, and start to clear away the fog from the mirror. Good luck! :)
blog comments powered by Disqus